My Litany

my attempt at modeling Billy Collins' "Litany":

My Litany

You are the “esc” key on my laptop,

The mouse and the cheese,

And the second lock on my apartment door

That I only fasten when I’m leaving for the weekend.

You are also the “U” I don’t have during Scrabble,

While stuck with a “Q”, trying to spell “query” or “question” or “quote”

 

However, you are not the goldfish cracker crumbs in the bottom of the bag,

Or the cicada shell stuck to a tree in my backyard,

Or the headless Ninja Turtle action figure in the basement,

And you are certainly not the dog poop under the kitchen table,

There’s just no way that you’re the dog poop under the kitchen table.

 

You may be the Yin to a Yang

And the skip to the lou

And the Crackle chatting with Snap and Pop on a shelf in my kitchen,

But hear me well, Little Miss Yin Skip Crackle (if that is your real name):

You are not even close

To being the cookie dough in my ice cream.

 

And not to make you overly concerned,

But you are also neither the baseball field clay in my pocket

Nor the mosquito that I swallowed when I was laughing so hard

At the barbeque last summer before it started to rain.

 

For your information, I am

The smell of chlorine at the public pool

And the sound of a dial-up modem failing to connect

 

I am also the sound of one hand clapping

And of a tree falling in the woods with no one around

And of a mime screaming at the top of his lungs

 

I am also the glasses you were looking for, but were on your head

And the keys you misplaced, that were in your hand the whole time,

But don’t worry, I’m not the “esc” key,

You will always be my “esc” key,

Not to mention the mouse, and—somehow—the cheese.